I don’t always have the space for her

with all this time

I seem to be entering a vacuum

I am a black hole

I try to be fun

I want to be interested

But I am selfish and solitary

I want the bustle and the bodies

the shared experience

yet I just want quiet

and to be left alone

in this quiet house

I want to breathe

to hear my thoughts

inside this structure

all feels still

and I am whirling inside

but its stuck down there

a one-way valve

energy is diminished

play comes last

there is still laughter in me

but in the embrace of sadness

it remains distant

there is an excepted solace

but, yet something is missing

Bodies in the house

makes time pass faster

we are furious in our consumption of moments

never arresting ourselves to digest

its the overlap of ambition and love

duty and routine are dispassionate

and they mock us

we’re racing without energy

huffing and puffing at each other

we can’t catch up with this slow.